in 2019, i met someone very randomly -
in our first interaction I made fun of her school,
& she later told me she felt i was intimidating,
but well, we met again, & again -
I don’t know what it was, that made it happen,
could be her nature, or her habits,
or that we had tons in common,
maybe it was circumstances, or -
that one tree branch that fell on my head,
& she burst into laughter, 13th September-
for me it was then, watching her laugh,
i should maybe ask her what it was for her.
it was a beautiful few months, food, & glory,
sunsets & sunrises, hills & lakes,
galleries & museums, movies & the sky -
but just as quickly we fell for each other,
the world decided ‘naah, you’ve had enough’
& sent this virus to lock us up in houses.
we really did care for each other,
i think we always will, but things got worse
the distance slowly poisoned,
& then slaughtered our relationship -
eventually when things opened up,
she got a little jealous, & I am a complete idiot,
that’s when december struck us with winters cold hands,
like ice, we cracked slowly,
until we simply just broke
regret filled my stomach, & pain filled the heart
well, the ice thawed & hope grew in me
in February, it even felt real for a while again
but it was too late, it’s always too late
i just hope i had done things differently,
because then if things ended anyway,
I’d know I gave it my best,
right now, i feel guilt & grief -
because i know i didn’t do my best,
I never gave it all,
& it’s something i can never change.
i wish to go back to december,
but that’s a fairy tale, because it’s over,
& it’ll never again be last december.
